Originally posted by moltonel
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"It's never too late to change."
A lot of people don't realize that they can change. You can. There are many ways to do it. One way is:
Try to become an observer of your own mind. So rather than get caught up in all the mental chatter, try to watch your thoughts happen sometimes. When you successfully do this, you'll quickly realise that you're not your thoughts. It's kinda like your thinking system is just a computer that you are using. A lot of us get caught up in our thoughts and we start to think that we are those thoughts and we have no choice but to follow our thought patterns wherever they take us... which sometimes is towards aggression or even madness. However, there is something greater within us which operates above those thoughts. I don't know what that greater thing actually is and for the sake of this current topic it doesn't really matter. It's just something that is there.
After you have some practise at being that greater thing (whatever it is) and you can watch your thoughts happen rather than be stuck-in-thought, you may find that when you're next getting angry, stressed, or about to respond aggressively, you can actually catch yourself entering that state of mind and emotion and stop yourself before you speak or act. In that moment you can then decide how you would actually prefer to act, or a way to act that might be better for yourself and everyone. You might even decide you don't want to say anything, which is also OK.
I'm not just making that stuff up or regurgitating something I heard from some religious group. This is something that has worked for me. It may work for other people too.
Edit: Here's a quick mental hack. If you want to briefly experience that greater thing and disconnect from your busy mind chatter momentarily do this: stop what you're doing. Gently take in a deep breath through your nose filling your lungs and then slowly release your breath through your mouth over a period of something like 3 seconds. While doing all that try to just internally watch yourself doing it. IE focus on that action. Notice how it can bring you calm and release you from whatever mental pathway you were racing along prior to doing it.
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