Originally posted by oleid
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If no user is in front of the screen, then simply show the dialog and wait until the user is in front of the screen, in the mean time the processes needing the extra memory can just hang and wait. If it's a server, then again just hang the processes that are wanting the extra memory until an admin ssh into the server and select what to kill; it's not like the server will be of any use after you kill some random process. If you have a server and you know you have memory leaking processes that are safe to restart then you can configure oom killer for your server and tell it exactly what to kill and restart.
In short, let the user decide what to kill, either decide on the spot or decide upfront before it happens. Don't act like you know better than the user.
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