His response both in the mailing list and on Patreon raised an eyebrow. I typed an analysis of it up but, well, then I asked copilot and it did it better. That email he quoted was a non-apology and typical of abusers. It follows a typical "apology, excuses, roses" format.
I hope that he takes the next few months of exclusion from the group he wished to join to get some help in recognising not only how badly he behaved but how to stop behaving in such a manner. If Linus can do it, sure as snot, Ken can also.
PROMPT:
Can you analyze the following text with respect to the list provided by https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhaust...ive-behavior#1 and detail which part of the email fits which of the 8 excuses in the psych central blog post?
Text to analyze:
I do want to apologize...
REPLY:
Let's analyze this text with respect to the excuses provided in the Psych Central article:
1. The abuser apologizes for their actions, but quickly offers an excuse.
3. The abuser blames the victim or external circumstances for their behavior.
4. The abuser minimizes their actions by suggesting everyone behaves this way.
5. The abuser suggests their actions were necessary and justifiable.
6. The abuser acknowledges the behavior but claims others do the same.
7. The abuser points out their actions have a positive aspect or are for the greater good.
8. The abuser compliments the victim to lessen the impact of their actions.
I hope that he takes the next few months of exclusion from the group he wished to join to get some help in recognising not only how badly he behaved but how to stop behaving in such a manner. If Linus can do it, sure as snot, Ken can also.
PROMPT:
Can you analyze the following text with respect to the list provided by https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhaust...ive-behavior#1 and detail which part of the email fits which of the 8 excuses in the psych central blog post?
Text to analyze:
I do want to apologize...
REPLY:
Let's analyze this text with respect to the excuses provided in the Psych Central article:
1. The abuser apologizes for their actions, but quickly offers an excuse.
- Text: "I do want to apologize for things getting this heated the other day, but I need to also tell you why I reacted the way I did."
- Explanation: The apology is immediately followed by an excuse, diminishing the sincerity of the apology.
- Text: "Firstly, it's nothing personal: I'm not axe grinding against you (although you were a major source of frustration for myself and Suren in the memory allocation profiling discussions, and I hope you can recognize that as well)."
- Explanation: This statement attempts to downplay the behavior by saying it was not personally directed, which can invalidate the recipient's feelings.
3. The abuser blames the victim or external circumstances for their behavior.
- Text: "But I do take correctness issues very seriously, and I will get frosty or genuinely angry if they're being ignored or brushed aside."
- Explanation: The blame is shifted to the victim or the situation, justifying the abusive behavior as a reaction to external factors.
4. The abuser minimizes their actions by suggesting everyone behaves this way.
- Text: "The reality is that experience, and to be frank, standards of professionalism, do vary within the kernel community, and I have had some _outrageous_ fights over things as bad as silent data corruption bugs."
- Explanation: This suggests that such behavior is common and acceptable within the community, minimizing the seriousness of the actions.
5. The abuser suggests their actions were necessary and justifiable.
- Text: "So - I am _not_ inclined to let things slide, even if it means being the asshole at times."
- Explanation: This justifies the behavior as necessary to maintain standards and correctness, making it seem justifiable.
6. The abuser acknowledges the behavior but claims others do the same.
- Text: "Thankfully, most people aren't like that. Dave, Willy, Linus - we can be shouting at each other, but we still listen, and we know how not to take it personally and focus on the technical when there's something serious going on."
- Explanation: This acknowledges the behavior but normalizes it by saying others in the community also engage in similar actions.
7. The abuser points out their actions have a positive aspect or are for the greater good.
- Text: "So for the record: I'm not trying to roadblock you or anyone else, I'm just trying to make sure we all have shit that _works_."
- Explanation: This claims the behavior is for the greater good, emphasizing the positive intent behind the actions.
8. The abuser compliments the victim to lessen the impact of their actions.
- Text: "And I have been noticing you stepping up in discussions more, and I'd like to encourage that, if I may."
- Explanation: This compliment is used to soften the impact of the previous abusive behavior, making it more palatable.
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