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How To Kill a Distro in 7 Steps (Microsoft Style).

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  • How To Kill a Distro in 7 Steps (Microsoft Style).

    How to kill a competing distro in 7 steps:

    0. Gainining the trust of the main developer, by registering the account on the distro forum as soon as possible and starting posting. Your goal is to get "mod privileges".

    1. Asking many, many, many irrelevant questions, not reading the report, and asking more and more question to wear out, anger and ultimately eliminate a user reporting the issue, who will go away because he was weared out endlessly by the task of telling you the issue on the umpfth time and you still ignored his answers by not reading them and only answered by asking him more irrelevant questions. END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    2. Wearing out and angering the user in such a way that he will call you names. It is much likely to happen because he's already on the edge because of the bug, so by doing this, you will end using your mod power to ban him. By doing "ban job" of a troll, the main developer will be satisfied of your "efforts" and farther entrusting you. You will also be envied by other pple on the forum so they will join you, mirroring your behavior. END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    3. Ganging up on the dissatisfied user using technique of trolling. Naming him troll because he's angry about the bug. You will start by tone trolling/policing the bug-angered and dissatisfied user seeking for help. The user will engage in name calling as a defense mechanism. You will use the power to ban him as a troll. END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    4. Telling the bug-angered user, reporting the issue, that "I don't see the problem", hence "its your problem", "you are the only one". The user already aggravated by the bug, will get more angry because you just told him that "he's the issue" and "there's no bug". It might lead to escalation of the "conversation" in which you will use your "mod power" and ban "the troll". END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    5. Telling the user that "its not my issue", "its upstream bug", but "its really not a bug" by repeating that "he's the only one"- making him feel alone and not a part of the community. Basically you are telling the non-technical user to fuck off, leaving him alone with the bug. Never mentioning, of course, that its your duty to contribute to the upstream. You will be marking the thread "case closed" and eliminating further posts. END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    6. Telling the bug-annoyed user reporting the issue, to "make his own distro" or "find another distro that will satisfy you", when he comperes it to the distros where there's no bug*, "if he doesn't like it". Angry about the bug user, that tries to help, who just had spent endless time downloading, installing, registering, filling-in forms, activating email links, endlessly clicking hydrants, buses and traffic lights, who is already tired, will feel your immediate hostility and will be driven away. END RESULT: BUG STILL NOT RESOLVED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SQUAT TO KILL THE BUG.

    Test (don't you all use it, make your own!):
    1. Pick any distro,
    2. Register an account in the distro forum,
    3. Post a bug: e.g.: "ugly font rendring", "fix the ugly fonts", "they're disqusting and ugly", "are you blind?", "why don't you fix it?", "do you even use your own distro?" "Microsoft has better fonts" (just "a little" exaggerated, but you get the point, esp. as a technical user/coder you know that .iso has absolutely no font rendering, and of course you know that on their own computers the mods/developers have beautiful font rendering, but they have never released the fix out of the box on the .iso for the user; zero efforts on their parts, just blindly owing upstream distro).
    4. Engage and observe reaction. Will the end result be fixing the font rendering? See for yourself. Seeing is believing.

    *the act of compering yourself to the best gives you the benchmark if you are good (e.g. faster sportsman, distro that starts faster, distro that is faster- just check the code of Clear for example, will it hurt? Its not hidden and its out there for you to study!, etc.). It gives you the guidelines- are you doing a good job? (How do I know if I'm doing a good job, if I'm not compering myself to anyone or don't measure it?) What else you have to do to improve yourself/distro.

    -------------
    Is that what MS would do to kill all those "lynyxes".
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