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Linux Distributions Described In Terms Of Beer

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  • Linux Distributions Described In Terms Of Beer

    Phoronix: Linux Distributions Described In Terms Of Beer

    After trying the openSUSE beer at FOSDEM, which is specially brewed at a small Bavarian brewery near the Nürnberg SUSE office and where many of their developers reside, I began wondering if other Linux distributions were represented by beer, what beers would they be? Continue on for this enjoyable weekend article where the leading Linux distributions are described in terms of beer...

    http://www.phoronix.com/vr.php?view=MTA1NjQ

  • #2
    Funny, I'm a Gentoo user and I was previously wondering what your opinion was on darker ales, as I'm not so keen on the lighter beers. This Starkbier does sound very nice.

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    • #3
      I guess I am screwed then, I like british ales. Typically brown ales or on occasion a nice IPA. I detest pilsner and lager style beers, ruling out most of the continental european beers as they tend towards a tradition of being lightly bitter in taste and refreshingly sparkly.

      My favorite commercially available beer would probably be the Newcastle Brown Ale which is to me a perfect balance of flavor for most occasions.

      Sadly the market for beer here in Brazil is fairly poor. The local brews tends to be fresh, cold and without much flavor, imported beers when available at all are very expensive and typically of the belgian cloister style brews which I am not so fond of. Given that I am considering the option of brewing my own, which I guess is Linux From Scratch (even though I am an OS X user presently).

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Chewi View Post
        Funny, I'm a Gentoo user and I was previously wondering what your opinion was on darker ales, as I'm not so keen on the lighter beers. This Starkbier does sound very nice.
        Yeah I love any of the Starkbier from the Munich breweries... Or Eisbock and Doppelbock beers from most Bavarian breweries are great too. Next week I'll be back in Munich and can't wait for some more tasty beverages :P
        Michael Larabel
        http://www.michaellarabel.com/

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        • #5
          Haha, excellent article, Michael! That's the kind of thing that makes me laugh with pleasure, keep it up, man .

          As a (happy) Gentoo user, I'd not compare it with a beer though. Rather with an excellent whiskey such as Glennfidich. Just like a pure-juice Linux .

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DavidNielsen View Post
            I guess I am screwed then, I like british ales. Typically brown ales or on occasion a nice IPA. I detest pilsner and lager style beers, ruling out most of the continental european beers as they tend towards a tradition of being lightly bitter in taste and refreshingly sparkly.

            My favorite commercially available beer would probably be the Newcastle Brown Ale which is to me a perfect balance of flavor for most occasions.
            My thoughts exactly. I miss living near Newcastle where I could get the brown stuff on tap!

            Originally posted by VinzC View Post
            As a (happy) Gentoo user, I'd not compare it with a beer though. Rather with an excellent whiskey such as Glennfidich. Just like a pure-juice Linux .
            That works for me too! Just a few miles from here is Edradour, the smallest distillery in Scotland. Their stuff is lovely but a little harder to get hold of than Glenfiddich.

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            • #7
              Linux Mint fits well as being Oettinger beer. Oettinger is Germany's best selling beer with 621 million litres in 2011. Just like Linux Mint, Oettinger is available in different flavours like Pils, Export, and Weizen. Most popular is the Pils with more than 200 million litres. It's the Gnome (or Cinnamon?) desktop among the Oettinger beers.

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              • #8
                bud light isn't THAT bad. its good for a cheap beer. if i'm low on cash i'll prefer budweiser or bud light over most other cheap beers.

                it is difficult to know what to compare windows and mac to. i guess windows would be best compared to any expensive beer that uses crappy ingredients, and mac would be a 0% alcohol beer since it gives the illusion that its legitimate. i'm not aware of any brands for either of these beers since i don't tend to spend more than $5 USD on a single bottle, and i don't care about 0 alcohol beer.


                i'm really interested in trying old toad. any idea where i can get it?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by schmidtbag View Post
                  i'm really interested in trying old toad. any idea where i can get it?
                  I would also like to order a Kasten of Old Toad. Can Phoronix act as a distributor?

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                  • #10
                    just ask Sheldon he as the most intelligence man in the world must know what is the best Linux beer:

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                    • #11
                      haha! Love the Beer <-> Linux comparisons!! Even though started off considering this a light-hearted/humorous article, I was surprised that by the end, my knowledge of German Beers is considerably better!!

                      Thanks for the educational article! I'm sure this will come in handy next time I'm in Europe!

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                      • #12
                        Hmm... how about Slackware as Altbier?

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                        • #13
                          As it turns out there's a coke brand called Ubuntu. You can buy it in the UK and potentially elsewhere.

                          Maybe the question should be what drinks distros would be?

                          Ubuntu - coke
                          Suse - beer
                          Arch - whiskey
                          Gentoo - scotch


                          Oh, and no sane scottish person would call a scotch whiskey. :P

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                          • #14
                            Well, I'd say that Gentoo would be you choice of beverage, alcoholic or non-alcoholic,
                            served in high/bowl/martini glass, wooden cup or a shooter, with or without a pinch
                            of salt, sugar, cinnamon, combined with vegetable/fruit or clean, preheated or cooled.
                            And if you change your mind it can be unshaken and poststirred. Enjoy.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by clavko View Post
                              Well, I'd say that Gentoo would be you choice of beverage, alcoholic or non-alcoholic,
                              served in high/bowl/martini glass, wooden cup or a shooter, with or without a pinch
                              of salt, sugar, cinnamon, combined with vegetable/fruit or clean, preheated or cooled.
                              And if you change your mind it can be unshaken and poststirred. Enjoy.
                              Sounds delicious.

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